I m tired

i m really exhausted physically and mentally....it is only the second week from the CNY break...how come i have such low stamina??
but looking at my schedule, i can't help but marvel at my ability to survive everyday...monday 7, tuesday 7, wednesday 9, thurs 7, fri 7, sat 9-5
wat a schedule...is this education? i m helpless to be in this 无间道...this
endless struggle with time, with myself....
juz now in the afternoon as i see a grp of students swarm into the physics lab in a dead style, i cant help but wonder whether we are all turned into products of our education, products of our society...the desired outcome, every citizen to maximise his potential and serve the society...many of us do not know the rationale behind our everyday action, yet we are in this endless ane endless cycle of work, rest, play...not realising the value of our work...

BY DEFAULT..

i read abt someone got into triple science by default...yes, i really think tt majority of my S7 peers study triple science is by default, as it is the established route to "success", and they dared not to venture out to subjects that they have not come in contact with such as commerce and humanities...becoz we are all kiasu, risk-averse, we want to stay in our confort zone, only realising in the end that what we have been doing and believing for years are nothing but of myth and falsed truth...when tt time comes, there isnt really much things to be done...wat is done cannot be undone, after 12 years of "seamless education" in singapore, we all are shaped into the same Good Citizen...obedient, work, immerse ourselves into vain joys, find a partner to spend life with, copulate and populate, worry abt employment, wanna value-add ourselves, under constant stress to perform and to upgrade lest kena outpaced in this cruel society, worry abt kids, want the kids to be the product of society again as one is still unenlightened, worry abt trivial stuff, retire, CPF, finding tt life is not really tt meaningful and exciting, but yet trying hard to recall and find meanings in life only to little avail, soon, kena disease, sons cry, but behind the back holding a calculator calculating the cost of medicine and hospital that you incur, soon, u die, and funeral, pple come, pple cry, and u dun really recognise the pple, but pple start talking good abt u, abt things tt u have never done b4, and u die a "glorious" death...3 days later, no one will remember u, no one would rem ur existence...coz ur existence was nothing but a contribution to society...u live out no worth, no meaning...u live a banal and mundane life which matters to no one...not even u...no one gives a damn abt ur life, and u dun really care either...u juz wanna make sure u r on the right national train...doing wat everyone is doing...

how sad, how pathetic...

i vow to live a life that holds worth and meaning at least to myself...and i do think i m on the path to it...i needa get over mundane and worldly matters, go beyond my narrow sight