Begin with the end in mind,

See death as the final destination

Someone who long for a rejuvenation of childhood innocent in this world of hypocrisy and irony... Someone who long for a touch of love in this cold and heartless strange land... Like a fallen angel, heaven seems to be so near, yet so far from me... Begin with the end in mind. Think death as the destination, As we edge closer to it everyday I love you

Sunday, October 31, 2004

A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaises jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks, rocks about 2" in diameter. He then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He then asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous - yes. The professor then produced two glasses of teh tarik from under the table and proceeded to pour their entire contents into the jar - effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, and your children. Things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else. The small stuff." "If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children.Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out dinner. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal. "Take care of the rocks first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the teh tarik represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for teh tarik!"

Saturday, October 30, 2004

THE POSITIVE SIDE OF LIFE:

Living on Earth is expensive,
but it does include a free trip
around the sun every year.

Birthdays are good for you;
the more you have,
the longer you live.

Happiness comes through doors you
didn't even know you left open.

Ever notice that the people who are late
are often much jollier
than the people who have to wait for them?

How long a minute is
depends on what side of the
bathroom door you're on.

Most of us go to our grave
with our music still inside of us.

If Wal-Mart is lowering prices every day,
how come nothing is free yet?

You may be only one person in the world,
but you may also be the world to one person.

mistakes are too much fun
to only make once.

Don't cry because it's over;
smile because it happened.

We could learn a lot from crayons:
some are sharp, some are pretty,
some are dull, some have weird names,
and all are different colors....but
they all exist very nicely in the same box.

A truly happy person is one who
can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

Have an awesome day, and
know that someone
who thinks you're great
has thought about you today! =)

happy

friends that were there for me when i was in deep waters, thank you all!

i am happy!
reasons:
1) no longer in deep waters (frenz's comp repaied liao)
2) holiday!
3) my trombone tone sounded quite nice today =)
4) realised that i have so many great frenz around me...i have not been treasuring these frenz...i will
5) she is forgiving, understanding, and smiling "_"
6) my dad called me few dayz ago
7) offered S papers of my choice
8) enjoyed intensive bio O lecture...fast and furious...exciting
9) realised that i realli love trombone

Monday, October 18, 2004

what is

when i am busy,i like to take a step back and write...
i am super busy now, hence i am at the peak of my thoughts for writing...

as i busily involve in the whirlwind of events, i often wonder whether all these have been wirthwhile.

the more things i do,the more things i see,
the more helpless and tiny i feel myself as,
the more hypocrisies do i see, and sometimes in myself too

i always contradict myself...i think one set, i do one set
eg i think i shd be more selfless and sacrificing, but sometimes i cant help but feel that whether all these have been worthwhile, and that i am really nothing more than a selfish mortal, the very existence of which is based on struggle and survival.

so wat am i, who am i. i am juz a bloody fucker that i see in others.

i hate hypocrisy...not that i am excluded...but i am simply disgusted...very simply

if i dun like, i wun pretend to be tolerant of you
if i dun know you, why muz i pretend that we are ok with each other...



in fact, what is life? who are we?
we are nothing more than juz a manifestation or reflection of our culture ...
we are juz....a product

i juz wanna live my own life...nothing more, nothing less
if not,why not end life? i dun understand the obsession with longetivity,clinging onto a life that is miserable..

and i learnt what good frenz are.
when u feel bad and dun feel like toking, ur good frenz will remain silent as well..silently accompanying u
when u score badly,and in a foul mood, they will juz sit by u, and not speak a word.
silence is golden
you 2 can talk abt anything under the sun
it is ok and not awkward even if u 2 do not speak during a meal or walking

Sunday, October 17, 2004

no attachment

I invited three friends to attend
the funerals of two friends I helped attend.
The three friends told me that they
had weddings to go that very same day.

Funerals, of farewell and bitter grief.
Weddings, of togetherness, sweet celebration.
How we come and go, come and go so brief.
How surreal our sadness our jubilation.

Who comes together will surely part.
But who parted too will surely gather.
Just love, just love with all your heart.
Nirvana the way to be always together.

Can I face the passing of my beloved without tears?
Will I not cling to our together years?
Can I be brave, be ready to let go
my beloved who have no choice but to go?

Live on, love on, treasure all,
but with no attachment at all.
Love like this though we have to part,
will never tear us both apart.

One late friend died so suddenly,
it was unsure if in his sleep.
The other's last breaths I was there to see,
release can be painful or it can be sweet.

Time is never on our side.
Death is ever by our side.
Not knowing when death will turn,
when we'll face it, when it is our turn.

Life's greatest test I can attest,
is how well we can handle death.
Life's other test is not to detest,
but to treasure our precious moments left.

Can I face my passing without tears?
Will I not cling to my better years?
Can I be brave, be ready to let go
my beloved who have no choice but to let me go?

What not learnt you will have to learn,
in this life now or in the next,
While living now, your main concern
is to reach the deathless, to not be lax.

Live well then so you will not regret.
So death will never make you fret.
For death is neither foe nor friend,
of life it does it does not truly end.

-shian

Saturday, October 16, 2004

something tt i got from someone's blog

what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God? (Micah 6:6-8)




DORMITORY: When you rearrange the letters: DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN: When you rearrange the letters:BEST IN PRAYER(now this i don't agree with!)

DESPERATION: When you rearrange the letters: A ROPE ENDS IT

GEORGE BUSH: When you rearrange the letters: HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE: When you rearrange the letters: HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES: When you rearrange the letters: CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY: When you rearrange the letters: IS NO AMITY

MOTHER-IN-LAW: When you rearrange the letters: WOMAN HITLER

SNOOZE ALARMS: When you rearrange the letters: ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT: When you rearrange the letters: IM A DOT IN PLACE

THE EARTHQUAKES: When you rearrange the letters: THAT QUEER SHAKE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO: When you rearrange the letters: TWELVE PLUS ONE


AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA: When you rearrange the letters (With no letters left over and using each letter only once):TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS.

Friday, October 15, 2004

God Grace...

WELL well well ... it seemed that i truly performed very badly for promo to fail to make it into the 39-strong SBO team...

when i thought there is no tomorrow, when my vision of future clouded by pain and anxiety, when i am at a loss...i truly thank god for giving me a second chance...
the teachers referred it as typo error...but i thought otherwise...it would probably be the karmas that i have accumulated over time? the grace from teachers esp ms. ong? god grace? miracle?

watever it is, thanks

and i feel a tinge of sadness, though i got 90 for maths...the feeling is for her...but i can do nothing...nothing...i canr transfer my marks to her, neither can i console her...i am never consummate at consoling pple...and i cant even console myself..

well, i guess i can slack no more. Bio O, pw, chinese history AO....all coming...and guess wat? yes, u got it! i am gonna conquer them one by one...human conquer subject, no vice versa.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

discrimination?

well...usually when we mention discrimination, it would be discrimination against those that are less good....or less acceptable, less glamorous...

now i face another type of discrimination...pple ard me discriminate me....they do not believe that i screwed up my promo esp. bio, and they thought that i am a bloody hypocrite...well...i shall say no more...the results speak volume.

i see this kinda discrimination as....silly...and it is usually by those losers who want to protect themselves and keep their statue quo...they do not want to concede their position as losers...they fear they would lose the identities.

the rationale is simple: some losers can only be losers but not winners...but winners can be both winners and losers at different times....so winners, in some sense, are more "versatile"...and winners can occupy loser's territory but losers can only stay in their regions....

thus losers do not want winners to be losers, hence they discriminate against winners...

haha

Monday, October 11, 2004

cool

i read something interesting told by buggy,
it goes roughly like this:

"1) name 5 richest persons in the world
2) name 5 nobel laurettes in the past 5 years
3) name....i forgot liao.....

they are all top people in their fields...yet we have a hard time recalling their names...
if we know their existence...

now try these:
1) name 5 persons that touched your heart
2) name 5 persons that affect your lives the most
3) name a few teachers tt u know u will remember for life
4) name a few great friends you love who love you

isn't it more easy for us to remember these pple....

so...wat is fame, my friend?
they are juz transient...
all objects on earth are mortal...
but the sweet memories that others bring to us will always stay in our heart...even if when we leave this world...
imagine that you are bill gates. a moment b4 ur death...would u still be concerned about ur money and your microsoft business?
the only thing in your mind would be great memories of lives and of nice pple and pple that u love and pple tt love you...

it is juz so simple: love

and wealth, fame will juz vanish in the stream of time...
top-notched scientists would not ever be known by many, except for the old few: einstein, newton...

so...achievements are nothing....it will pale and dilute as time goes...



Friday, October 08, 2004

here is something i got some timo's blog...i quite share the same sentiment as well...

"there's a kind of emptiness behind every joy and laughter.
a type of sorrow that can never be expressed in mere words.
happiness will never last for eternity, if it had even existed in the first place.
many are just blinded by the facade that they are actually very happy,
and yet, i'm glad that i'm one of them alright.
shows that i'm human.

friends? they will never stay at ur side 4ever.
an impossible dream that is.
u may call me naive, but,
i'd always loved company of friends.
i'd even let my imagination go wild,
that one day, with good faith, my good friends and i will will stay together in this big house.
haha. how childish.

i dun really know how others think of me.
must have been really irresponsible and mean at times.
yet, some will never complain when they have grievances.
for that i thank u right from my heart.

perhaps it's this self-isolation in me that makes me want to do my best to engage in more social activities.
how foolish, i was, to think of alleviating the situation.
it will never work.
as much as i try to enjoy wadever activities i'm doing,
there are always some who despise me. who ignore me.
who think them i'm negligible in that place and time.

sure some outings are fun, but it is only a matter of time that they will be over.
just like how 灏忛緳濂?felt when no one was around, when even 鍛ㄤ集閫?left her.
tears will just fill up ur eyes like bottomless wells,
and the emptiness in ur heart will become unbearable.
if that's the case, why indulge in temporary, false happiness?"