Well, again, I am bai gan jiao ji. I am glad that my Malaysian brother Set has gotten 11A1!!!Top in S'pore. Cheers for Malaysian scholar!!! U did us very proud...

I am so thrilled by the result of 04S7Aians that i have almost forgotten that I got 7 for L1R5...=(
I think 04S7A muz be the best CT in S'pore...coz got 2 11A1s, 3 10A1s, 1 10A1+1A2, 3 9A1+1A2....and the most important thing is that the whole class can stay...04S7A RAWKZ

I was so pissed today...dunno which bloody romourer spread the rumour that i got 11A1 to the whole school...And I, poor I, b4 i got the result, was still happily being showered by accolades from frenz. Rumour and Scandal the roots of all evilzzz. I am very reluctant and hesitant to use this word, but i have no choice given my situation: Fuck the bastard
Actually I feel very sad now...not only for myself, but for my brothers Kok Chong and Yuan Wei...I knew Kok is disappointed for not getting 11A1zz...i thot i can do it oso...feel quite Ke Xi for him...For YW, I think he juz had some bad lucks....but genuinely glad that he can stay...
So back to me...I might be the only one in the Great Class 04S7A that would leave HC...If i have to leave, I definitely won't go NJ. I would choose RJ, VJ or SA. But HC still my fav.JC in S'pore.
Hmm...maybe i needa appeal...but nothing to appeal on...no CCA talent...nothing...maybe can try telling them that i really love HC..haha...lame.Try not to be pessimistic. But all the things seem bleak now... But as what Kok Chong and Mrs. Jaya said, it is the person that matters, not the environment. I was on the verge of tears when i knew i got A2 for Chinese...and my tears almost flooded my eyes when Mrs. Jaya said that. Mrs. Jaya, u're really a nice teacher...thought sometimes a bit slack and cynical...but very caring and understanding...and i am proud that my English, under her guidance for 3 years, has improved to A2...still regret that din get A1 for english...i gu fu liao Mrs.Jaya. Really wish that i could have done better and got all the A1, and make Mrs. Jaya proud. Nicest teacher in CHS.
"YH, u did well, really! Juz that u're a bit unlucky for your chinese, but ur result is still very fantastic. No matter which jc u go to, it doesnt matter, juz give ur best. It is the person that matters, not the school nor the environment. And i know that u can do it!"


When i knew that i would not be on the stage, i can only think of 2 possibilities to explain why.: Maybe i got B3 for English...definitely they wun announce "LYH: 10A1zz 1 B3zz." Second possibility is that i got two or more subjects A2. And besides English, I cant think of any other subject that i will get A2 for...most probablt would be Higher Chinese, which depends a deal lots on luck. And, indeed, i had no luck the day i took Chinese. Both Lang A2....so pissed...L1R5=7, though msg 1.20, but still not qualify for graduation thingy...so ashamed of myself...so ashamed to see the Chinese teacher.

Went to Corwin place to K to fa xie. His house is really big, and beautiful. I really want to buy a house like this in the future. In his house having meals, playiing games, singing K, then i realised what is quality life. Vintage...

I can't find any words to describe my feelings now. I simply can't. My attempt to analyse my state of mind was in vain. I feel very empty, and very blank inside. But i can sense the embroilment of emotions in the deeper me. I am juz everwhelmed by my warring feelings. My mind was dulled by the things that are happening around me. My state of mind resembles the sunlight which is made of many colours disguised and blended as a white colour.

After a few weeks of intense study of the topic "adolescence" in GP, I find that I myself, no matter how mature i profess myself as, am still an emotionally insecure and fragile adolescent. I am reluctant to step into the fledgling adolescent that is already upon me. I thought I have passed the adolescence stage...the game has just begun...i was so astonished by my slow emotional development...I was too childish. Never in my wildest dream did i imagine that adolescence is a burden that would weigh heavily down my shoulders...
I am trapped in the midst of adolescence, which I earnestly wish to but am unable to fight...

Everything happened so fast in the past two months. It was like a dream. And I, the dreamer, have finally waken up, in a realisation that i sincerely wish not to have realised. Yes, life is full of paradoxes. In the past two months, as I see more clearly about true friendship, I am more confused in the complexity and perplexity of friendship. My friend Zi Wei left for NZ a week ago, and i was there to send him off. There is a cliche that says that when a person is about to leave us, we would then start caring for him and paying attention to him. This is not true for me!!! I started becoming more aware of this friend only after a week since his departure. When i read his blog, i began to notice that he is not the person i thought he is. And the seed of pain and regret of losing a friend only started sprouting after a week of dormancy. I really start thinking that everyone is unique....and that everyone is complex in his thinking. I will pay more attention to understanding every friend of mine. And i mean it.

Love, to me, is the greatest thing on earth. Yet it's as deadly as AIDS to me. I don't feel much loves from the people that surround me. Love, of course, means more than romantic love. It includes love from friends also. And I can hardly feel the love of my relatives in a foreign country. And i have no lover....so love from friends is the only source of love for me. To me love is like a source of nutrients...Dunno why, i always feel that i am the love giver, but the love i receive in return is meagre...maybe i am too greedy...maybe i am mistaken...love and frenship is not maths, the eqn need not to be balanced... Dunno why i am constantly plagued by a lurking virus called depression, which culminates in the presence of loneliness. But i seem to have found a cure: brotherhood...but it is still in its primitive stage...it needs the element "time" to further enhance and prove its workability.

If i am confused with friendship and love, then i am totally at loss for me myself and I. After 16 years of living, growing and learning, i find that the most confusing thing to me is still my own self...my true self...the real me...the inner me. Everyone has his uniqueness and individuality....what's mine? I am really in the search for my self-identity...

The class had a gathering juz now at school...quite fun...dunno what to say abt it...speechless now...and need a time lag to formulate and organise my thots. A 7-hr sleep would do. I really think that "Auld Lang Syne" is a nice song. Juz like the song "Moon represents my heart", it is immortal.

Hi This is Diego Ryo. This is my first entry...dunno wat to write.
Juz hope that u pple would enjoy reading my blogs.

"as long as we have memories,
yesterday remains,
as long as we have hope,
tomorrow awaits
as long as we have friends
today is beautiful"
- Anonymous

Cherish every moment in your life!