天增岁月人增寿/春满乾坤福满门

after watching the lunar new year celebration by Channel 8 and by CCTV, it is so apparent that China's programmes and performances are much more exquisite, beautiful, graceful and cultural. Mediacorp celebration at Chinatown was mediocre and relatively low class, what with all the singing performance by quick-shot-to-fame-superstar-rejects and lame games played by the local celebrities. One of the glaring differences is the quality of the hosts. CCTV hosts are knowledgable, 大方得体,有文化有修养,有深度, whereas mediacorp's quality can be summed by in a word: crass.
It is very obvious that S'pore has a long way to go to be a Renaissance city or state-of-the-art in the literal sense. The biggest hindrance would be the ignorance of the mass on the value of cultures and arts, and the lack of appreciation and embrace of arts. It is a deep-rooted mentality that which finds existence from top-ranked ministers to normal aunties uncles. After all, the government's main agenda nowadays is mainly on economics, how to win the election (to get back the remaining 2 seats to make a complete combo :) ), how to put down the opposition (poisons, time bombs...). Arts seems too trivial a matter to exist in such a 大环境.

sry my s'porean frens hope you're not offended by an unimportnant view of an unimportant person. But if you are, then there is one more hope for your country :)

谨祝狗年国泰民安,世界和平,男的帅,女的悄 =)

P.S. 狗的好处:
1) 人类忠实的朋友
2) 帮忙看门捉贼
3) 促进经济成长 (dog-related industries)
4) 用来骂人 (狗嘴里吐不出象牙、狗仗人势、狗屁不通, 狗吠)



P.P.S.

博君一笑 :)

我可以带胸罩了吗？
“妈妈，我已经13岁了！！”
“我知道啊！”
“那我可以带胸罩了吗？”
“不可以！！”
“可是姐姐13岁的时候就开始带了！”
“我说不可以就是不可以！”
“可是，可是。。。”
“绝对不可以！！！”
“可是姐姐她。。。”
“给我闭嘴，你这个笨儿子！！！”

Victor Hugo

"An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise."



"Adversity makes men, and prosperity makes monsters."



"A man is not idle because he is absorbed in thought. There is a visible labor and there is an invisible labor."


"As the purse is emptied, the heart is filled."



"Civil war? What does that mean? Is there any foreign war? Isn't every war fought between men, between brothers?"


"An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come."



"Try as you will, you cannot annihilate that eternal relic of the human heart, love."



"He who opens a school door, closes a prison."


"Have no fear of robbers or murderers. They are external dangers, petty dangers. We should fear ourselves. Prejudices are the real robbers; vices the real murders. The great dangers are within us. Why worry about what threatens our heads or purses? Let us think instead of what threatens our souls."


all these powerful and intelligent quotes above are from Victor Hugo, a man of contradiction and wisdom. born to an atheist republican father and a Catholic royalist mother, he symbolised the communion of diametrical ideas of humanity. This innate turbulent nature, nurtured by the tumultuous period of French Revolution, resulted in a rare intellect of the society.

I must admit that i am a noob. only recently knew the difference btw Republic and Democratic.

gained insight into the socialist face of Chinese society when i conversed with the hot drink specialist of the restaurant i work in who is from China. found out that behind the veneer of fast developing face of Singapore, there is a class that perpetually lags behind. or left behind. China gov. definitely takes care of the elderly, the handicapped and other needies much better than in singapore. maybe singapore should do more for these needy compatriots than to help paint their flats or perform some music that are cacophonic to their ears. there needs a comprehensive structure and plan for these people. CPF and medisave are not everything.

and another comment from my this PRC colleague is that China is much more 有人情味 than Singapore. even though it has its share of bad people, it is a society with passion and compassion. not a deadfish efficient society.

in my opinion, M'sia still belongs to the compassinate yet full-of-perils society even though the efficiency of government does perk up a tiny bit. not short of redtapes and corruptions, but rest assured that you will have fellow friends and helpful countrymen. and the civil servants are generally nice and helpful too even though they might be slow and not knowledgable. but the whole society gives u a sense of belonging, a taste of humanity.



first year not spending chinese new year with my family. first year not going back to my kampung Pusing. miss my family and relatives. hope that all is well for y'all, and may my grandma be peaceful and contented in another world.

does not feel particularly strong this year for CNY unlike the previous 18 years. maybe becoz i'm not with my family, and maybe becoz i am in a foreign land. but thx to timo for hosting me for new year eve. at least i got a decent dinner and nice companion :)

been spending first day (chu yi) online reading Wikipedia. how i wish i don't need to work and just immerse in the world of knowledge. it is so blessed to be able to read and acquire new insights. student is the best occupation in the world.

first day working officially.

all the moments of excitement, joy, sianness.
there is only a person in this world whom i feel like sharing with.
how i wish that you're here

a silent wish that you are always smiling inside
no matter whether you are happy or sad
no matter whether it is sunny or rainy

may the mists be cleared soon and the sun of fate shows us the way

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

there is no reason not to follow ur heart

> > This is the prepared text of the address by Steve
> Jobs, CEO of Apple
> > Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, who spoke
> at Commencement on
> > June 12, 2005.
> >
> > I am honored to be with you today at your
> commencement from one of the
> > finest universities in the world. I never
> graduated from college.
> > Truth be told, this is the closest I've ever
> gotten to a college
> > graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories
> from my life.
> > That's it. No big deal. Just three stories.
> >
> > The first story is about connecting the dots.
> >
> > I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6
> months, but then
> > stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months
> or so before I really
> > quit. So why did I drop out?
> >
> > It started before I was born. My biological mother
> was a young, unwed
> > college graduate student, and she decided to put
> me up for adoption.
> > She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by
> college graduates,
> > so everything was all set for me to be adopted at
> birth by a lawyer
> > and his wife. Except that when I popped out they
> decided at the last
> > minute that they really wanted a girl. So my
> parents, who were on a
> > waiting list, got a call in the middle of the
> night asking: "We have
> > an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?" They
> said: "Of course." My
> > biological mother later found out that my mother
> had never graduated
> > from college and that my father had never
> graduated from high school.
> > She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She
> only relented a few
> > months later when my patents promised that I would
> someday go to
> > college.
> >
> > And 17 years later I did go to college. But I
> naively chose a college
> > that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all
> of my working-class
> > parents' savings were being spent on my college
> tuition. After six
> > months, I couldn't see the value in it. I had no
> idea what I wanted to
> > do with my life and no idea how college was going
> to help me figure it
> > out. And here I was spending all of the money my
> parents had saved
> > their entire life. So I decided to drop out and
> trust that it would
> > all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time,
> but looking back it
> > was one of the best decisions I ever made. The
> minute I dropped out I
> > could stop taking the required classes that didn't
> interest me, and
> > begin dropping in on the ones that looked
> interesting.
> >
> > It wasn't all romantic. I didn't have a dorm room,
> so I slept on the
> > floor in friends' rooms, I returned coke bottles
> for the 5¢ deposits
> > to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles
> across town every
> > Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the
> Hare Krishna temple. I
> > loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by
> following my curiosity
> > and intuition turned out to be priceless later on.
> Let me give you one
> > example:
> >
> > Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best
> calligraphy
> > instruction in the country. Throughout the campus
> every poster, every
> > label on every drawer, was beautifully hand
> calligraphed. Because I
> > had dropped out and didn't have to take the normal
> classes, I decided
> > to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do
> this. I learned about
> > serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the
> amount of space
> > between different letter combinations, about what
> makes great
> > typography great. It was beautiful, historical,
> artistically subtle in
> > a way that science can't capture, and I found it
> fascinating.
> >
> > None of this had even a hope of any practical
> application in my life.
> > But ten years later, when we were designing the
> first Macintosh
> > computer, it all came back to me. And we designed
> it all into the Mac.
> > It was the first computer with beautiful
> typography. If I had never
> > dropped in on that single course in college, the
> Mac would have never
> > had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced
> fonts. And since
> > Windows just copied the Mac, its likely that no
> personal computer
> > would have them. If I had never dropped out, I
> would have never
> > dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal
> computers might not
> > have the wonderful typography that they do. Of
> course it was
> > impossible to connect the dots looking forward
> when I was in college.
> > But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten
> years later.
> >
> > Again, you can't connect the dots looking forward;
> you can only
> > connect them looking backwards. So you have to
> trust that the dots
> > will somehow connect in your future. You have to
> trust in something -
> > your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This
> approach has never let
> > me down, and it has made all the difference in my
> life.
> >
> > My second story is about love and loss.
> >
> > I was lucky – I found what I loved to do early in
> life. Woz and I
> > started Apple in my parents garage when I was 20.
> We worked hard, and
> > in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of
> us in a garage into a
> > $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We
> had just released our
> > finest creation - the Macintosh - a year earlier,
> and I had just
> > turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get
> fired from a company
> > you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone
> who I thought was
> > very talented to run the company with me, and for
> the first year or so
> > things went well. But then our visions of the
> future began to diverge
> > and eventually we had a falling out. When we did,
> our Board of
> > Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And
> very publicly out.
> > What had been the focus of my entire adult life
> was gone, and it was
> > devastating.
> >
> > I really didn't know what to do for a few months.
> I felt that I had
> > let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down
> - that I had dropped
> > the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with
> David Packard and
> > Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up
> so badly. I was a
> > very public failure, and I even thought about
> running away from the
> > valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me –
> I still loved what
> > I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed
> that one bit. I had
> > been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I
> decided to start
> > over.
> >
> > I didn't see it then, but it turned out that
> getting fired from Apple
> > was the best thing that could have ever happened
> to me. The heaviness
> > of being successful was replaced by the lightness
> of being a beginner
> > again, less sure about everything. It freed me to
> enter one of the
> > most creative periods of my life.
> >
> > During the next five years, I started a company
> named NeXT, another
> > company named Pixar, and fell in love with an
> amazing woman who would
> > become my wife. Pixar went on to create the worlds
> first computer
> > animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the
> most successful
> > animation studio in the world. In a remarkable
> turn of events, Apple
> > bought NeXT, I retuned to Apple, and the
> technology we developed at
> > NeXT is at the heart of Apple's current
> renaissance. And Laurene and I
> > have a wonderful family together.
> >
> > I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened
> if I hadn't been
> > fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine,
> but I guess the
> > patient needed it. Sometimes life hits you in the
> head with a brick.
> > Don't lose faith. I'm convinced that the only
> thing that kept me going
> > was that I loved what I did. You've got to find
> what you love. And
> > that is as true for your work as it is for your
> lovers. Your work is
> > going to fill a large part of your life, and the
> only way to be truly
> > satisfied is to do what you believe is great work.
> And the only way to
> > do great work is to love what you do. If you
> haven't found it yet,
> > keep looking. Don't settle. As with all matters of
> the heart, you'll
> > know when you find it. And, like any great
> relationship, it just gets
> > better and better as the years roll on. So keep
> looking until you find
> > it. Don't settle.
> >
> > My third story is about death.
> >
> > When I was 17, I read a quote that went something
> like: "If you live
> > each day as if it was your last, someday you'll
> most certainly be
> > right." It made an impression on me, and since
> then, for the past 33
> > years, I have looked in the mirror every morning
> and asked myself: "If
> > today were the last day of my life, would I want
> to do what I am about
> > to do today?" And whenever the answer has been
> "No" for too many days
> > in a row, I know I need to change something.
> >
> > Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most
> important tool I've
> > ever encountered to help me make the big choices
> in life. Because
> > almost everything – all external expectations, all
> pride, all fear of
> > embarrassment or failure - these things just fall
> away in the face of
> > death, leaving only what is truly important.
> Remembering that your are
> > going to die is the best way I know to avoid the
> trap of thinking you
> > have something to lose. You are already naked.
> There is no reason not
> > to follow your heart.
> >
> > About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I
> had a scan at 7:30 in
> > the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my
> pancreas. I didn't
> > even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me
> this was almost
> > certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and
> that I should expect
> > to live no longer than three to six months. My
> doctor advised me to go
> > home and get my affairs in order, which is
> doctor's code for prepare
> > to die. It means to try to tell your kids
> everything you thought you'd
> > have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few
> months. It means to
> > make sure everything is buttoned up so that it
> will be as easy as
> > possible for your family. It means to say your
> goodbyes.
> >
> > I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that
> evening I had a
> > biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my
> throat, through my
> > stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into
> my pancreas and got
> > a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my
> wife, who was there,
> > told me that when they viewed the cells under a
> microscope the doctors
> > started crying because it turned out to be a very
> rare form of
> > pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I
> had the surgery and
> > I'm fine now.
> >
> > This was the closest I've been to facing death,
> and I hope its the
> > closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived
> through it, I can
> > now say this to you with a bit more certainty than
> when death was a
> > useful but purely intellectual concept:
> >
> > No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to
> heaven don't want
> > to die to get there. And yet death is the
> destination we all share. No
> > one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should
> be, because Death is
> > very likely the single best invention of Life. It
> is Life's change
> > agent. It clears out the old to make way for the
> new. Right now the
> > new is you, but someday not too long from now, you
> will gradually
> > become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so
> dramatic, but it is
> > quite true.
> >
> > Your time is limited, so don't waste it living
> someone else's life.
> > Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with
> the results of other
> > people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's
> opinions drown out
> > your own inner voice. And most important, have the
> courage to follow
> > your heart and intuition. They somehow already
> know what you truly
> > want to become. Everything else is secondary.
> >
> > When I was young, there was an amazing publication
> called The Whole
> > Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my
> generation. It was
> > created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far
> from here in Menlo
> > Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic
> touch. This was in the
> > late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop
> publishing, so it
> > was all made with typewriters, scissors, and
> polaroid cameras. It was
> > sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years
> before Google came
> > along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with
> neat tools and great
> > notions.
> >
> > Stewart and his team put out several issues of The
> Whole Earth
> > Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they
> put out a final
> > issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age.
> On the back cover of
> > their final issue was a photograph of an early
> morning country road,
> > the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if
> you were so
> > adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay
> Hungry. Stay Foolish."
> > It was their farewell message as they signed off.
> Stay Hungry. Stay
> > Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself.
> And now, as you
> > graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.
> >
> > Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.
> >
> > Thank you all very much.

hide now

2 quotes that resonate with my soul.

Neither a lofty degree of intelligence nor imagination nor both together go to the making of genius. Love, love, love, that is the soul of genius.
~ Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread.
~ Mother Teresa



but perhaps geniuses are not supposed to survive in this era. e.g. jingzhan, kokchong...they wld be much more happier to be born in another era.


身是菩提树，心如明镜台，时时勤拂拭，勿使惹尘埃
菩提本无树，明镜亦非台，本来无一物，何处惹尘埃


心本无尘，尘即是心。无心无尘，人便死


人死了,还会有烦恼;心死了,便如天使一样安详.


officially my first time. officially. and i aspire to make it the last time ever.
everything is ephemeral in this world. nothing interests me. why did God bring me to here in the first place?

在一起是缘分，离开也是缘分
生是缘死是缘, 有缘无分,无缘却有分





needa totally engineer myself to be a disciplined life unit. devoid of sentiments and emotions. only efficiency and utilitarianism. and do the "right" things. and be a hypocrite. be a bastard.
Be someone who pleases everyone. "successful" people have many friends at the front stage but none in the backstage.

Just don't be myself. don't be a DiegoRyo. don't allow anyone into my backstage. no visitor allowed. Diego Ryo, my dear soul, you can't survive in this world. you're born in the wrong era. Hide now. hide at a safe place at the back of my mind. and do not ever come out again to occupy this robotic life being. You've been warned b4.

.红丽.红丽.红丽.红丽.红丽.红丽.红丽.红丽.红丽.红丽.红丽.红丽.红丽.
.kurei.kurei.kurei.kurei.kurei.kurei.kurei.kurei.kurei.kurei.kurei.kurei


omniknight. slardar. death prophet. nothing is constant. only DotA is.


ganesha rox. 够稳.
TENACITY of the SINCITY.



ruthless efficiency,
ruthless efficiency,
from now on i shall be a little icy.
perpetually make myself numb,
to make that heartlessness come.
maybe i shall not tell,
for i wish not experience hell.
maybe i shall not hope,
for my meagre self cannot cope.
wake up, work, eat and sleep,
my life shall be simple as sheep.

life and friendship

I believe in the fundamental goodness in every human being. That is in line with Buddhism as well. But sometimes i cannot help but think that it is, after all, merely fundamental. it takes more than fundament to be considered as good i think.

Sometimes i also thought of this: people would actually appreciate a rare unexpected act of goodness from a supposedly-bad person more than the usual kind deeds of a commonly-known nice person. E.g. people would actually think more highly of Hongming if they found out that he has been sincerely helping in a Orphanage than a Zichao who has been a nice man all the while. People would go like: "hmm...come to think of it he is not as bad as we all think..." and the sooner they would focus their eyes on all his good points and find that: OMG HM is a good man, i am quite touched. whereas for ZC pple would juz go like: nice lo. no OMG no touched. hmmm come to think of it, sometimes we really do take nice pple for granted. maybe a kind deed done too often would not be touching and nice? maybe that partly explain, partly only,男人不坏女人不爱? a rare good deed by a 坏男人 is more touching and "valuable" than the same deed done many times by a 好男人. Hehe, so all the men out there, it PAYS to be bad haha.

Hmm...ok..maybe juz for that moment of realisation. But really, this perception of a person is really relative and subjective.


One more interesting point is that a friend, no matter how nasty and bad he/she is, will be forgiven and accepted, becoz of one word: friend. eg pple would unreservedly condemn vandaliser. however if that vandaliser is a fren of yours, most probably you would juz frown, or even smile at it. eg when yw plucked out the tags at the back of the seats in audi i merely laughed over it even though it is an act that i would have condemned usually. and why did i not flinch at this supposedly bad deed of my fren?


as my msian brothers always say: 男人最重要是三样东西:义气,义气,还有义气. is 义气 really everything? how about universal justice? how about the enemy's justice? but sometimes it really take a lot of courage and personal belief to move beyond 义气. to uphold justice, to safeguard humanity. i know pple might laugh at it as being sanctimonious, but still i believe that "friend" is not the permit for everything. Would you hire a friend or a stranger who display a slightly higher capability? most would choose the former. I think it is only right to choose the latter. But my heart sometimes doesnt guide me to do the right thing. you know, even if that stranger is clearly more capable than my fren, i MIGHTMIGHTMIGHTMIGHT hire my fren, if he is really a close fren of mine. you see, that's why my mind and my heart always contradict. my mind opts for universal justice whereas my heart safeguards my fren's justice.

at the present, i really don't know which part of mine would prevail. meanwhile, i will juz sit at the fence and watch them fight and have a good laugh.


H1 = 君子之交淡如水.
H2 = 红颜如水.

By MI, H1 = H2, so 君子之交 = 红颜 ? :) juz being lame here

Life is tough. More tough than i ever thought. How i wish i can just leave things behind and go into the disciplined and simple army life. All the best to my frens going army. Cherish it. Life out here is much more tougher you would soon come to realise. I miss school. The school days were really so care-free.