an interesting article on The Economist.

excerpt:
"... As studies show, and many women will attest, men tend to misinterpret innocent friendliness as a sign that women are sexually interested in them. Dr Haselton and Dr Buss reasoned that men who are trying to decide if a woman is interested sexually can err in one of two ways. They can mistakenly believe that she is not interested, in which case they will not bother trying to have sex with her; or they can mistakenly believe she is interested, try, and be rejected. From an evolutionary standpoint, trying and being rejected comes at little cost, except for hurt feelings. Not trying at all, by contrast, may mean the loss of an opportunity to, among other things, spread one's DNA.

There is an opposite bias in women's errors. They tend to undervalue signs that a man is interested in a committed relationship. That, the idea goes, is because a woman who guesses wrongly that a man intends to stick around could end up raising a child alone.... "

cooked pasta with a friend just now.
my maiden attempt. for a special situation. for a special person.
and it turned out edible! definitely wish to have more culinary explorations in the future.
a significant step towards being a neo-modern man. maybe i should focus more on small and little joys like this..



a semester is almost gone. and so many things have happened, yet i feel so unachieved.

same time last year i finished my A level. this particular year passes the fastest in all my 19 years of life. yet i feel i have changed and grown up the most over this year. i know there is no turning back. i took a path less travelled. a path so bumpy. a path so obscure that i cant see the way in front.

but i will continue my ride.

and to all my friends who seem to be fighting a miserable and lonely battle. you are not alone. hang in there, and our time will come.

*end with a glorious invigorating song*

macro and micro

dear friends,
if you havent watched An Inconvenient Truth, take a look at the trailer:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QhOBhI-bpk&mode=related&search=
and the whole documentary (in ten parts):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwY4VU7zhsw&mode=related&search=

this is the least i could do on my part. but somehow i still remain skeptical. for i always hold on to the belief that mankind is foolish as a whole, and there are way more fools than the wise ones in this world. we are just viruses on the Earth.

I, for one, is an outright fool. I need a strong will to pull myself out of this slump. it seems that i am having a mild depression: i don't seem to have the will to do anything i feel i should; i feel so cold and dark inside my heart (probably due to the weather too, there is no more sunlight at 4 plus) ; i feel no wish and desire other than the desire to rot and duo luo;


life is about macro and micro. some people live their lives focusing on macro issues; some find joys in micro issues. i am still struggling to find the balance in my life right now.

and nowadays i dont even write coherently. not that i always do.



another reason why i feel so pessimistic about the world:
http://www.nytimes.com/2006/11/21/science/21belief.html?_r=1&bl&ex=1164430800&en=a19416ba8553b6d4&ei=5087%0A&oref=slogin

i need some sunshine in my life. i need someone to tell me life is worth living.

magic

it has got to be magic..
the way you turn around my world just like that.

i am in awe.

7970 677985828369 73 8384737676 76737569 897985. 657868 727987 73 87738372 73 6577 847269 797869 658279857868 897985 77798384 7970 847269 84737769. 73 8482857689 6978747989 8380697868737871 84737769 87738472 897985. 73 72658469 68738384657867737871 778983697670 70827977 897985 668584 84726584 7383 847269 66698384 8472737871 73 8472737875 73 6779857668 6879.73 6577 848289737871 8479 6669 776584858269 657868 8479 726578687669 84727383 677979767689 668584 73 70657376. 657868 847269 826965837978 73 80766589 8379 77856772 68798465 7383 84726584 73 8765787865 78857766 778983697670 657868 707982716984 6566798584 897985.

and yet i cant say any of these to you because our lives intersect too much for me to risk things getting awkward between us.

Life Is Beautiful

Life Is Beautiful (La vita è bella)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Life_is_Beautiful
a good Italian movie that i came across, recommended by robbie je. now I remember that i watched it before..a really good movie.

"The title is taken from a quotation from Leon Trotsky's last testament. While in exile in Mexico, knowing he was soon to be assasinated by Stalin's agents, he saw his wife in the garden and wrote:

Natasha has just come up to the window from the courtyard and opened it wider so that the air may enter more freely into my room. I can see the bright green strip of grass beneath the wall, and the clear blue sky above the wall, and sunlight everywhere. Life is beautiful. Let the future generations cleanse it of all evil, oppression and violence, and enjoy it to the full."

The Italian version of this phrase is
"Possano le generazioni future liberarla da ogni male, oppressione e violenza e goderla in tutto il suo splendore"




This reminds me of George Orwell and his son.

taken from one of my past entries:
http://drlew.blogspot.com/2005_08_01_drlew_archive.html
"There is a photo, taken around 1946, showing George Orwell with his adopted son. The little boy, around two that time, was beaming, with unguarded delight. That boy, Richard Blair, was born 1944, the same year as the protagonist of 1984. It is not difficult to guess that Orwell, in 1984, was imagining a future for his son's generation, a world he was not so much wishing upon than as warning against. He wanted to make a change to his prophecy. It is the boy's smile, direct and radient, proceeding out of an unhesitating faith that the world, at the end of the day, is good, and that human decency can always be taken for granted - a faith so honourable that we can almost imagine Orwell, and perhaps even ourselves, for a moment anyway, swearing to do whatever must be done to keep it from ever being betrayed"









How i wish life is beautiful.

long time no blog

indeed.

college life is so dynamic that sometimes i feel lost and directionless in the inexorable flux of dynamics. so many things i wish to do. so many constraints and holdbacks. so many choices to make. Sometimes freedom enslaves us more than the lack of it does.

nowadays whenever i read my personal mission statement and YHMP, i can't help but sneer at my naivety and my aspiration when i penned them down. nowhere am i now near the "neo-modern man" that i have always aspired to be. Am still trying to find my niche here: academic and social. of course it would be easy to say "just be yourself", but what is the "self" that i possess? is that not subject to flux? is that not subject to societal expectation and peer pressure? when will i be "neo-modern man" that Osho described in "The Book of Man"?

if there's anything that's constant about me, it is that i always live in contradiction and tragedy.
and it doesnt help that my class requires me to read about philosophy and psychology, which only serves to make me think more. and more. and more.
and no more.


i cant afford to have any more irrational emotional upheaval again.
i want to be cool-headed and warm-hearted. (see, i'm trying to be someone that i am not, and that creates more personality dilemma..)

and i cant even listen to my own music and work in my own room. my dear laptop is spoilt T.T
being a very home-bound person as i am, i dont particularly enjoy being a nomad always working in the libraries or computer labs.


BUT (teachers always advise us to put some twists in our stories =)

i am happy.
life is full of possibilities (including the possibility to fail completely).
i am alive.
i am studying.
i have good friends
what more can i ask?

oh yes, and parties =D
this alone makes me college life a happy one :)



i will be so disciplined. so driven. from the moment i click "Publish Post".
yes i will.